


Felix's Journey with Anarchoprimitivism

by Bingubiusrex



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: anarchoprimitivism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bingubiusrex/pseuds/Bingubiusrex
Summary: Tired of all the horrors of war, Felix decides to live out his primmie dream and heads out with Sylvain to the woods to live the rest of their lives.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Felix's Journey with Anarchoprimitivism

**Author's Note:**

> I don't care nor really like Felix or Sylvain that much but the idea of Felix being an anprim really stuck with me. If you think I think I wrote their characters wrong suck my nards. Also I forgot how to format stuff here so it looks like garbage but the story is good believe me.

The war has ended. After all the torment, all of the horror, all of the bloodshed, Felix had enough. Everyone else around him celebrated the end of the war and the start of a new era, but he knew deep down that nothing ended, and that more war is just inevitable. He pondered this while looking at the descending sun as nighttime eased over Garreg Mach. As he watched, his friend Sylvain walked over to talk.

“Well well, Felix Hugo Fraldarius is brooding by himself while everyone else is cheering and being merry, what else is new,” Sylvain remarked.

“Keep your words for someone who cares,” Felix responded. “You know just as well as I do that this changes nothing. You know just as well as I do that while that wretched system exists injustice will occur.”

Sylvain became quiet. He and the rest of his friends fought hard, and took many lives to get where they are. The present is possibly the closest anyone was to living a peaceful life, but he knew that what Felix said was true.

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right. As long as crests exist, there will be problems, you’re right.”

Felix looked confused.

“Crests? What the hell are you going on about?”

“Uhh, what do you mean? The crest system? The thing that literally makes a social hierarchy? What else is there that's a problem?” said Sylvain, easily ignoring the racism that is literally everywhere in Fodlan, especially Faerghus, because he is a stupid white man.

“Why would I give a shit about crests? No man, the real problem that plagues Faerghus, and Fodlan as a whole, is agriculture.” 

***

A week after their initial meeting, Felix left Faerghus and headed out to live in the dense forests of Fodlan, with Sylvain following after him, worrying about Felix’s safety.

“Hey Felix! Can you please just think about this for a second? There’s no way that you’re serious about just giving up everything to live in the forest forever right?” Sylvain asked.

“I’m dead serious Sylvain,” answered Felix. “My entire life, I felt like I was being held back. And now I realize that what was holding me back was modern technology. If I give that up to live in nature, I can finally become...whole”

“Literally what in the name of the Goddess are you talking about.”

As Sylvain finished his last words, the pair stopped walking. Around them, there were no sounds of humanity. Just dense foliage, the cries of birds, and the aura of mother nature filled the surroundings. 

“See Sylvain, this is what I am talking about. When we’re cooped up in those disgusting houses and buildings, we’re kept away from all of this. We’re kept away from nature itself Sylvain.”

“Felix we can just walk outside whenever we want and I’m pretty sure we’ve fought in forests all across Fodlan more times than we can count. Also there were like birds and fish at Garreg Mach too and-”

“Oh shut up already,” Felix said with a scowl. “If all you’re willing to do is spew your useless civilization propaganda then leave me be.”

As much as he wanted to leave, Sylvain knew that if he did Felix would most certainly die within three days at most if he wasn’t there to bring him to his senses. Reluctantly, he stayed and helped Felix set up camp.

***

The next morning came, and the situation had not gotten much better. The duo made a makeshift lean-to shelter, but it didn't protect them from the cold winds at night. Felix refused to bring any materials with him, including a blanket, as he insisted that he would live off the land. 

However, a new need came up. The two needed food if they were to survive, and they needed to figure out how they would get it. 

“My time has come,” Felix announced. “Now that I am in my natural environment, I will finally unleash my hunter instincts and become a true human.”

“OK good plan. That is a really good plan. But, pray tell, how are you going to unleash your hunter instincts when there’s no prey in sight? And with what weapon” Sylvain asked. 

“Weapons? Are you kidding me? Weapons are products of civilization, I could never use such trash.”

“Felix all we’ve done is kill people with weapons for the majority of our lives. I’m not sure if we’re even good at anything else.”

“Speak for yourself, I know that I could kill any animal I see with my own bare hands. Now if you’d get out of my way, I’m going to catch some prey.”

The two walked for hours on end trying to find something to eat. Felix rejected any inquiry about just picking plants to eat, as he would said that would just lead to agriculture which will destroy the whole purpose of his decision. Finally, after being unable to catch even the tiniest of squirrels, the duo walked upon a group of boars.

“This is it Sylvain. Tonight, we’ll celebrate my first true kill with a feast. In just a few seconds, I’ll tap into my hunter instincts and become what I was always supposed to be,” said Felix, with almost devilish ferver. 

“Well good for you pal,” replied Sylvain, clearly exhausted. “I guess if I see you in any trouble I’ll just shoot some magic from over here and-”

“What did you just say?”

“Huh? Nothing I just said I would use magic to help you-”

The pure rage in Felix’s eyes was clear to see. “Magic? Fucking MAGIC? I would rather die than to see magic used again, Sylvain. Of all the trash that came from agriculture, magic must be the worst. There’s no glory, you just stand ten feet away and shoot fireballs like a coward. That’s what all magicians are Sylvain, cowards. And if I see you using magic, well, let’s just say, you won’t be invited to my feast tonight. Because I’ll kill you with my bare hands. Without magic. Because I’m not a coward.” 

Sylvain had enough with Felix’s tirade. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SOCIETY DIDN’T MAKE MAGIC FELIX PEOPLE CAN JUST DO IT NATURALLY. PEOPLE DIDN’T MAGICALLY GET THE ABILITY TO SHOOT FIREBALLS AFTER PLANTING AN APPLE SEED, IT CAME FROM EVOLUTION FELIX. IT’S NATURAL. AND IF PEOPLE ARE COWARDS FOR USING MAGIC, THEN YOU’RE A FOOL FOR TRYING TO LIVE LIKE THIS.”

Felix scoffed. “Evolution isn’t real idiot.”

Sylvain didn’t get a chance to rebuke Felix’s statement, as right as Felix finished one of the boars impaled the two of them, killing them instantly. 

***

A month later, two mercenaries were walking down the busy streets of Fhirdiad.

“You won’t believe this story I heard at the tavern pal.”

“Oh yeah? Shoot.”

“You know Gregory right? That guy in that one battalion? He was stationed in a forest near Fhirdiad recently, and while he was scouting around the area, he found these two corpses right on top of each other.

“Lovers in a forest? How romantic…”

“Who knows if they were together, but I digress. At first Gregory thought they died by battle right? A skirmish was gonna happen soon in the area anyway, but when he looked closer it turns out they were killed by a boar. Exact same time by the looks of it.”

“The exact same time?”  
“I shit you not.”

“Well, that’s a great tale and all, but there’s no way I could believe it.”

“Well why not?”

“Uh cuz we have fucking swords and shit and boars are just animals? Not even that we can just fucking shoot fireballs and lightning out of our hands what makes you think an animal stands a chance.”

“You know, you make a good point. Wanna go back to my place where we’re protected from the elements and eat some fruits and meat from domesticated animals? 

“Fuck yeah dude!”

The End


End file.
